The Chrysalis

Lately, I have been finding it so difficult to get out of my head to write this blog post. I have already chosen the name for it. But how do you write about a season while you’re still sitting dab smack in the middle of it. I call this post, the Chrysalis. In case you don’t know. A chrysalis is the actual process a caterpillar undergoes while transforming into a butterfly. The caterpillar actually builds the cocoon knowing that its time for transformation has come.How amazing is that? While inside of the cocoon, the caterpillar releases enzymes that break it down into a liquid. From the liquid it transitions into a new species and being, called a metamorphosis. Hence, a beautiful butterfly cracks out of the cocoon. It goes from a fuzzy worm that is limited to inching across the surfaces of earth to a weightless, colorful, winged insect capable of flying and seeing things from an aerial perspective. Imagine that. Going in with one understanding and coming out with a clear and fresh pair of eyes to see a new perspective. I went to a butterfly insectarium while living in New Orleans and remember being so fascinated by all of the cocoons hanging in the viewing window. Silently, something major was happening! Confession: When I was a little girl I would collect caterpillars and keep them as pets in my desk at school in hopes that they would become butterflies 😂 I also had a fascination with tadpoles becoming frogs. smh. Anyways the keyword is silence. The chrysalis happens in a place of silence.

I have been in my job title for about 9 months now and I can say this time living in the New York area has been exactly that for me. A chrysalis. New York is the cocoon. I have an appreciation for my time in the area and have gotten to know myself even further since being in this place of almost complete solitude. Last year was spent in isolation, this year I call it solitude. Next year?!!??!! Oh my goodness I am feeling so so good about the things to come. I have finally found a new joy for life and relationships with people. I know what I can tolerate and what I can’t handle. I know myself. And that is the beauty of this chrysalis like transformation. Moving forward, within the next 3 months I will be going into yet another new normal where I will [finally] make my living situation semi permanent and I cannot wait! It’s a great, great feeling knowing yourself.

I strongly encourage everyone to have a season just getting to know yourself. Even if it’s only a short season. Mine was a bit extreme. 2 years of isolation and solitude. For each person it can and will look different. What I’ve realized is it’s impossible to pour from an empty cup. When there’s nothing left to give, the people asking end up wanting still. It’s a vicious cycle. My season consisted of refilling, and now I’m working on finding the way to balance it. Set boundaries. Know your limit.