Trust: built over years.. destroyed in seconds

See that image? He ain't gone catch her!

Each year I have a word that I focus on..

2017- fortitude

2018- identity

2019- JOY

2020- trust

Trust.

My word for 2020

What is trust exactly? According to Merriam- Webster’s dictionary, trust is defined as:

a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

b: one in which confidence is placed

Taking it a step further.. reliance is defined as dependance on or in something or someone.

This year, my focus is on trusting God through every circumstance and in every area in my life. I mean really when I look at my life.. God has carried me the entire way but especially since 2016.. Really though, how many times did I actually trust Him to take care of me? I found myself so worried about things and exhausting myself trying to take care of things in my own strength when ultimately, I’m powerless without Him. So I get it… I see why this year the focus is trusting Him.. that’s not entirely an easy thing to do. I have learned so so much about myself in both marriage and divorce. I have learned that now.. after the disappointment of divorce.. trust is something that actually just doesn’t exist for me anymore. I trusted with entirety.. and was lied to every step of the way.. so why have trust anymore? Last year, after being in a deep depression my joy was restored! So I’m calling 2020 my JOYRIDE year… **shoutout to NIKE and my friend David who sponsored me with 4 pair of Joyrides** Now that my joy has been restored.. I’m seeing that God wants to restore my trust in Him.

Confident dependance in the character, ability, strength, and truth of Someone. WOW even writing that is a tough one for me. It’s easy to say you trust after the blessing has come. It’s easy to say you believe when everything is figured out… but what happens when there is no plan b!? What in the world does trust look like in that circumstance.. when there’s nothing to fall back on? I’m still trying to figure that out but for starts, I’m making daily efforts to show God that I trust Him with my time, my finances, my most prized possessions, Jack and Khloe, and ultimately the direction of my life. Really, I do know that I have nothing and am nothing with Him. So everything I have.. isn’t even mine to begin with. Right now.. it is just the beginning.. but I’m looking forward to being amazed at the way God restores my ability to trust again.

A few scriptures I’ve been meditating on in case you’re in the same place I am in with trust:

Father I believe but help me overcome my unbelief!

Mark 9:24

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Listen for Gods voice in everything you do, everywhere you go. He’s the one who will keep you on track.

Proverbs 3:5

Don’t fret or worry. Instead pray about everything. Tell Him what you need and thank Him for all that He has already done.

Philippians 4:6